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When giving is all we have - Alberto Rios
We give because someone gave to us.
We give because nobody gave to us.We give because giving has changed us.
We give because giving could have changed us.We have been better for it,
We have been wounded by it—Giving has many faces: It is loud and quiet,
Big, though small, diamond in wood-nails.Its story is old, the plot worn and the pages too,
But we read this book, anyway, over and again:Giving is, first and every time, hand to hand,
Mine to yours, yours to mine.You gave me blue and I gave you yellow.
Together we are simple green. You gave meWhat you did not have, and I gave you
What I had to give—together, we madeSomething greater from the difference.
One Christmas a friend came to stay and I was reading Alistair Shearer’s book Views from an Indian Bus. At this time I had been doing a lot of reflection on generosity and so when they admired the book and seem interested, I knew they had a long bus journey ahead themselves and so I gave it to them unread. It was spontaneous and done with ease. This is an example of our first quality iof the six perfections: generosity or Dana.
The first of the six perfections or paramitas in Buddhism is generosity or Dana. This is a quality to perfect because we all have a tendency to withhold, to cling, to crave. So in a sense this quality is about relinquishment in order to reverse this tendency.
Giving is above all an attitude. We are not only concerned with who to give to, how to give, what to give and when but the spirit of giving.
Who do we give to?
Perhaps you feel happy giving to family, friends and relations. After all charity begins at home right? What about the poor, the sick, afflicted and helpless (as described in traditional Buddhist texts). I am sure you’ve given to numerous charities.
But perhaps you think some people are unworthy of giving to, undeserving of your generosity. Do you discriminate in your giving? What judgements and assumptions are you making around this? Can we give with more ease and equality?
How do we give?
In Buddhism we are asked to give
courteously,
happily,
expediently,
willingly,
without regret,
without talking about it to others,
without expecting anything in return.
So you can see this becomes less about the gift more about the giving.
For example when giving a donation we might want to consider how much we can give and give a little more because it is in the little more where generosity resides. If there is any resentment in our giving reflect on that and where the grasping emerges from. Giving is non greed, we aim to give freely, it is an antidote to taking the not given.
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