How do you relate?
If everything thing and everyone we encounter is relational, how do we relate?
Life is all one big interconnected web. Our small actions have ripple effects. Change one entity and all entities are changed – however minutely. The way we talk to people, what we buy, our thoughts and subsequent actions or inactions continually interacting and affecting everything - all things are conditional and relational.
When this exists, that comes to be; with the arising of this, that arises. When this does not exist, that does not come to be; with the cessation of this, that ceases.(Stephen Batchelor translated from the Pali Cannon)
Whatever comes into existence on whatever level, does so in dependence on conditions, and in the absence of those conditions, ceases to exist.(Sangharakshita)
At the centre of this web is our mind. How our minds react and respond is integral. One begrudging thought can cascade into behaviour and actions that have consequences. One joyful thought can cascade into beauty and generosity.
And yet, for most of the time, our minds are on automatic - veering between craving and aversion - pulling towards or pulling away. And so round and round we go on the same trajectory.
There is a Shaolin saying: Where the heart is there is the mind, where the mind is there is the energy, where the energy is there is the power. When we see our thoughts we see the basis of habit, habit forms the basis of character, character forms the basis of experience. The relationship between what we think and what we experience is very strong. We could even say our character is just a bundle of habits.
How meditation helps
Meditation helps us begin to observe our minds, become aware of our habitual reactions and train our minds to help us develop creative and wise responses. We become aware of how we relate to ourselves and how we relate to others; how we relate to our own worlds and the wider world.
Although it seems straightforward, this interrelatedness and interconnectedness is so profound it is beyond our comprehension. This is the greatest teaching of Buddhism called Pratitya Samutpada (conditioned co-arising).
It’s mind blowing!
On an intellectual conceptual level I get it, but on a deeper level to really understand and live with this understanding would lead to awakening. I don’t live my life in the light of this wisdom. I often get caught up in habit and reactivity. Don’t get me wrong, I am trying - practising, meditating, trying to act ethically - but it is a practice, and sometimes - just sometimes - I am in touch with the beauty and mystery of the world, but only in glimpses. Practice is about waking up and making the most of our lives now.
When the real nature of the various conditions and their interactions is penetrated through sustained reflection on each particularity and generality, they are seen to be ultimately beyond human understanding. This is especially the case when considering the universe as the totality of simultaneously interacting conditions. (Kamalshila)
If you want to read more about this I highly recommend This Being That Becomes by Dhivan Thomas Jones. In fact you can see me talking about the book on the Windhorse publisher website. Here is the video!
If you prefer to listen rather than read as your preferred learning style you could also check out this series of wonderful talks. (You may find some of the terminology new here’s a little glossary: Metta (Loving Kindness) Dukkha (suffering) Sradhha (faith)
Wabi Sabi Life Reading Group
We have our own Wabi Sabi Reading Group on Threadable. In March we begin reading Lonely Castle in the Mirror, by Mitzuki Tsujimura.
In a tranquil neighbourhood of Tokyo, seven teenagers wake to find their bedroom mirrors are shining.At a single touch, they are pulled from their lonely lives to a wondrous castle filled with winding stairways, watchful portraits and twinkling chandeliers. In this new sanctuary, they are confronted with a set of clues leading to a hidden room where one of them will be granted a wish. But there's a catch: if they don't leave the castle by five o'clock, they will be punished. As time passes, a devastating truth emerges: only those brave enough to share their stories will be saved.
Tender, playful, gripping, Lonely Castle in the Mirror is a mesmerizing tale about the importance of reaching out, confronting anxiety and embracing human connection.
To join in, download the Threadbable app a new social reading platform (only available on iPhone at present) and use this invite code: 45281.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this book.
Comments
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post or to any of the links and resources I signpost to. Do let me know what you think. If you like, you can also post any thoughts on the book we are reading in the Wabi Sabi Life book group. Let’s keep up connections!
Gratitude
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Thank you for this thoughtful post. I enjoyed it very much and shall ponder on the questions you raise. The book sounds great and I shall seek it out. Sadly I can’t commit to a book club. One of the things mindful living has taught me is that I often try to do too much!